Now THIS is what pisses ME off….
Stupid Neighbors. It absolutely pisses me off when my neighbors get me in trouble for something that is technically their fucking fault. We don’t get our garbage taken away by the city. We get it taken by some local guy who picks up all the shit that we don’t need anymore twice a week instead of just once like those lazy city bastards (city workers piss me off too, for the record). Due to this fact we don’t get one of those blue humpback whale sized garbage cans that the city provides. We have a pretty big garbage can; it can hold a good 3 full sized garbage bags no problem. But our house…likes to get drunker than 10,000 Indians and lots of people like to join in on this mindless debauchery. So needless to say we have more garbage than the neighboring senior citizens we live by.
Now this in itself isn’t the problem. We have more garbage, it’s not that big of a deal. The problem arises when our decrepit neighbors let their tiny, little, miniature, looks like Chinese food sort of dogs out without leashes, you know the ones…the dogs that you feel like you could punt across an entire football field you felt like it, which at this point I do. The bastard dogs get into the garbage bags that don’t fit in the garbage can and tear it to shit. I honestly want to kill these dogs, not that I hate dogs, I have one myself and I love it. But these fuckin’ mutts get into our garbage and make a bigger mess than a kid finding out how fun masturbation is.
IT GETS WORSE!!!!!!! THESE STUPID ASSHOLE NEIGHBORS CALL THE COPS!!! We have actually had a police officer show up to our door telling us that our neighbors called saying that the garbage is an eye sore and they want it cleaned up. AN EYE SORE! I’m gonna make your eye sore after I get done skull fucking you for calling the cops on something as stupid as a little garbage in MY yard. It’s not like the garbage blows into their yards, it stays in our yard. The backyard for that matter, it’s not like people can see it when they drive by our house, it’s concealed where only the 2 houses next to us could ever see it.
Seriously how bad can a little garbage be? And why don’t you have the decency to arthritis walk your ass over to my house and come talk to ME first about it. What do you have agoraphobia and can’t use your walker to get the 6 feet to my door and tell me to clean my garbage up. I swear to GOD the next time the cops get called on our garbage I’m gonna tell them to go talk to the neighbors about keeping their stupid douche bag dogs leashed up so the garbage doesn’t get spilled everywhere in the first place, because I’m pretty sure there’s a leash law, not a garbage law. And if they don’t do anything about it…I’ll just kill the dogs and sell them to our local Chinese restaurant. Which might be a little harsh…but delicious.
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